so im not going to punctuate… much… or capitalize because well im sick and sick people can make their own rules. it’s been a definite 10 years since i’ve had the achy breaky sweaty blues. and yes, i did just say to a friend the other day, ‘i never get the flu’. the universe turned her head my way and rolled her eyes. she was thinking, y do they always have to say that shit? don’t they know thats like a triple dog dare? amateurs
whats cool about being forced to slow down is all the time looking out my window. apartment living leaves a lot to be desired but the abundance of comical scenes is not lacking by any means. i had no idea that one of my rather large neighbors makes her route to the communal trash compactor in her house dress, yellow flip flops, and tiny toy poodle on a string at precisely 8am each morning. and throw your hands up in the air for the 20 something hottie who feels the need to stroll sans shirt by my window at least every other day on his way to the gym room. a little eye candy never heard nobody is what my inner goddess always says. but i digress… my ramblings today are not in vain my poor bored readers. i had a moment.
it was day 5 of sickness and i just needed someone other than my cat to touch me. my toe polish looked like it had been chiseled off randomly so i figured i would take my feverish self to the nail spa. of course this was BEFORE i knew i had the flu so all you germaphobs can just get off my back alrighty? it was the worst best 40 minutes of my day. this time the universe must have looked over and decided i wasnt so bad afterall because this woman ministered to me. she was the mother of the other two giggly girls in the spa doing nails – and i could tell she was one of those make the sunday brunch every week kind of moms who annoy the shit out of you but actually make the world go around. she told me all about her girls and how they were going out for halloween that night and how in her country they don’t have halloween or turkey for that matter. she ran down the list of differences pretty quickly pausing just long enough to look into my soul, pat my leg and say ‘you ok? you ok miss?’ at regular intervals. well about the 10th time she pats me the tears start to fall. i lean back in the chair and just let them come. its been a long long time since i had anyone mother me. say about 18 years. you know mom is the only one you can really let in. cuz her love is like air and water. it just is. can’t do anything to make it go away. unconditional. and i’ve been a mom for 10 years now but mine has been MIA. she told me once she just decided it was her time. her mothering days were over.
nail lady was from cambodia. a place ive never been and probably will never go. and yet God, yes God, used her hands and her words to break a watershed of hurt so deep in my soul i had forgotten, no not forgotten, just buried so down down deep it was up. makes no sense but you get my meaning. how foolish i felt sitting there sobbing like an idiot because she was patting me and asking if i was ok. fortunately she was kind enough to pretend she was deaf and blind because she prattled on until i got myself together, paid and left. it was only when i got home and glanced at my toes that i realized id just received the worst polish job ever. she’d gotten that blue polish everywhere. but i didn’t even care. not one bit.