FREAK’N AWESOME

someone once said to me that going to yoga class was like going to church.  at the time i was floored.  all wrapped up in religion such as i was my feathers were truly ruffled.  that’s blasphemy and i’m looking around for the inquisition! ok so that was a little 15th century, but you get my point.  i was completely unaware that you could have a SPIRITUAL experience during a yoga class.  isn’t everyone just there to sweat and stuff?  um… ima have to see about this…

a little background… my life, as i imagine it is for many of us, has been largely wrapped up in the physical realm.  what am i going to eat today? is it pleasant outside or am i ready to launch a complaint against God for this less than stellar weather? what am I going to wear?  this typical drivel is what drives most people.  thoughts come and go and are usually based on lies we have chosen to believe about ourselves and others.  We act out of our lies based on our fear that others will see our lies and find out the ‘truth’ about us.    its all so… comical.  i chuckle when i think of my old way of being… and how easily i slip back to that way when i forget.  when i forget how FREAK’N AWESOME I AM!  that’s right, freak’n awesome.  there was a day… oh along about 6 or 7 years of age when i completely believed how amazing I was. how could i NOT be?  that possibility was not even on the edge of my imaginings.  think for a moment… when how old were you? now don’t get all party pooper mode on me and start thinking things like, ‘that’s the way of the world’, or ‘all children grow up eventually’… no no no my friends, this is not what i ask of my bored readers today.  I ask something more of you.  IMAGINE.  for just a moment what your life would be like WITHOUT all the crappy stuff you tell yourself?  I’m not good enough.  Oh my god I’m so fat/ugly/tall/short/loud/stupid.  No one loves me, how could they, look at what i’ve done.  I’ve got to be perfect.  perfect.  or i’ll never amount to anything.  money.  if i could just make more money.  have a bigger penis/boobs/house/car/vacation than my neighbor then i would have MADE it.  STOP  the madness!!!!!  lol.  i just wanted to type that.  someday i will be the crazy old lady in some play and i’ll stand up and shout something like that.  it will be a total freak’n riot.  i love the word freak’n by the way.  it might just well be the most expressive (appropriate for all circles) word I have come up with in recent years.  but i digress…

retraining the brain.  that is where it’s AT.  And frankly, the quiet spaces on the yoga mat are some of the ONLY moments many of us have to consider these things.  Our thoughts.  How what we think is then played out in our actions and our reactions.  Our thoughts, Ours stories, which we CREATE, then control our lives.  WE GIVE our thoughts that much power.  What if.  What if we decided to CHANGE our thoughts.  Truly insurmountable you say.  Well I agree, except to say, so What? That’s not going to keep me from trying.  Making an effort to create change in myself so that perhaps change might manifest through me and around me.  This is what what she meant.  Yoga=Church.  When you see the lie that you are NOT FREAK’N AWESOME, well then you LIVE that way.  Less than.  Lack of integrity.  Dishonest.  and so on.  In a way it’s easier.  Easier to be less.  BLAH. Get to that point friends.  Tired of not shining your life.  Tired of simply existing when you could be truly ALIVE.  This is a SPIRITUAL street fight for your soul!  <—— that’s my teacher Baron Baptiste coming out.  See how I can just channel him like that.  Good stuff.  So anyway MAN and WO’MAN the FREAK up friends.  Be courageous.  Dare to take your seat in the LIGHT as a child of GOD.  Who, incidentally, doesn’t make ANYTHING that isn’t totally FREAK’N AWESOME.  Get on your yoga mat.  Borrow a friends mat.  Show up and I’ll give you a mat.  Just get on a mat.  At first you will hate the mat.  You will hate your friend for making you come.  You will hate the teacher and me for writing this useless blog.  and then something will happen.  if you keep going.  if you dedicate yourself to the WORK you find on your mat, you will begin to see.  glimpses of you when you were CONVINCED you were NOTHING but AWESOMENESS.

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About gottagirl12

I ramble. Always have. So that's what this blog is about - saving all my friends from my endless banter and nonsense. Perhaps you will find me funny at times or a little on the romantic/nostalgic meaningful side, but honestly this is my therapy. I'm not concerned with how I am received. Or if my grammar and spelling are acceptable. Nope. That was college and corp america. Now that I am pushing 40, had 2 kids and recently separated, my level of caring about what others might think has dropped significantly. But if you are gonna read and comment and such, then be my guest. Perhaps we can learn something along the way. I've been teaching yoga since 2008 and a bodyworker since 2011. I live and work in Charlotte, NC. www.elevation121.com
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