So it’s kind of funny how things come along at just the WRONG time. haha. not what you were expecting? good! cuz that’s what it is: unexpected. I have never loved being thrown a curve ball… just give it to me straight for crying out loud! But that’s not how it works. Life is curvy, full of pits and dips and peaks and wide open places that end in long quiet spaces and round and back again. How’s that for unexpected? my sentence structure will never win a literary award… it’s just so… unexpected! But truly, think of all the weirdly awesome and wildly crazy things that have happened to you… expected? I think NOT.
I tend to be a roller coaster rider… no not the REAL ones, they make me throw up, I’m taking about the ones that exist in your mind and heart and soul. The ups and downs and ins and out. So although one could argue that I am someone in need of medication, I am not currently medicated. Nope. I CHOOSE to ride the coaster. I choose to FEEL. I choose to notice all the little fickle sways of emotion and thought. THIS is my experience, my journey, my ride on life. I don’t want to miss a thing. This is the real reason. Why I left my old life. I was missing out. On ME. On what COULD be. It was easier to check out. And truthfully, checking in has been no picnic. My knees shake beneath me and on most days my fears get the best of me… and then… love.
Love? Yes. Somehow it always shows up. You might not invite it to the party, but it finds the back door. You could change your address and remove your number from the book and it will send a message in a bottle. Love in the form of friends who care, even when they shouldn’t. Love sent by far away family and close sisters of your soul. Love in the shape of soup containers and redbox movies. Love in the soft cloud of butterfly kisses and the hard muscle play wrestling of a 10 year old who thinks he’s Hulk. Love in the sound of laughter… the deep belly snorting kind (yes I snort, laugh if you must). Love in the touch of Someone your soul once knew. Love on the yoga mat floating on the breath of meditation and flow of asana. This love we give to ourselves. From this love all other love grows. Long in coming and so very… Unexpected.